Super Dads!

Dads have a boatload of superpowers, says the least research.

Super Strength: When dads roughhouse with their kids, it doesn't just tire them out before bedtime, it teaches kids to manage their emotions, leading to better relationships.

Super Equality: Forget about Iron Man - let's hear it for a man who irons. Dads who sahre in household chores have daughters wtih greater professional ambitions.

Super Persistence: Dads who teach kids accountability and the reasons behind their rules raise children with more stick-to-itiveness.

Super Mood: Sorry moms, but a dad's love has the more impact on a child's future happiness. Kids sure of their dad's devotion are less likely to exprience depression.

Super Future: When dads provide calm, loving home environments, kids are more likely to form healthy relationhips and become capable parents.

A Working Nursing Mother is a lot of WORK

Enter the working nursing mother aka the clock watching pumping b!*$%. Is being at work difficult? No, not at all. It’s the “Sorry – I can’t handle that crisis or family meeting or fit in that kid in that time because the other kid didn’t show or drive out to see that kid at that time. You see, I require ample time to get to a private area to set up, hook up, relax, let down, pump, store, and clean up at that time, and two other times throughout the day.”

Example, it’s 9:30am and a kid hasn’t shown up for a session. Normally, I’d call for another kid. But now I can’t because there is no point. I have to pump at 10am. That means I’m unavailable until 10:30. An hour of work gone! In the back of my mind, I know I cannot meet the quota of encounters per day with this pumping schedule. Of course I have a legal right to pump and my employer must accommodate for this. How do I accommodate for the overwhelming feeling that I’m failing as a mom because I complain so much about pumping and failing as an employee in terms of productivity?

Another example, there is an emergency crisis team meeting that is happening in town at 3pm. I’m asked to be there. I need to pump at 4pm. Do I leave the meeting at 3:30 so I have time to get back to the office and pump? Thus feeling like I’m abandoning a client in need and not meeting my obligations. Do I leave at 4pm when the meeting will hopefully end, and pull out my boobs in the parking lot of children's Services, while praying to God that no one sees me there or while I’m driving back to the office? Did I mention how difficult it is to relax when you try and pull the drive-n-pump move? I’ve done it once and avoid it like the plague. To say that I hate public pumping is an understatement. Never will I ever look at my fellow drivers at a stop light again.

Our darling little girl is only 5 months old and I’m sick of pumping! It's been two months and I'm already SICK OF IT! Truth be told, we have at least 7 more months of this. Introducing solids at 6months is really just her playing with her food. The boob-juice is her main calorie supply. And don’t get me started on how she is refusing to gain more than half an ounce a day. We're shoving milk down her gullet like it's the end of days. Poor thing is just pooing it out.  

  

Here is a sample of our schedule (keeping in mind, some day’s I’m at the school, other days I’m at the office and other days I’m going from another school and the office and so forth). Somewhere in there we’ll get our taxes done, clean the house, clean the garage, plan our family vacation, pay bills, balance our accounts, return calls – oh and actually try and go on a date.

·         12:00am: Seth bottle feeds Eva (because we are battling the 5 month old who refuses to gain

·         5am: Seth wakes up and gives her bottled snack

·         6:00am: Wake up, dress, get ready

·         6:15am: Seth get’s Eva up, changed and dressed

·         6:30am: Pump one side, clean pump parts, bottle 3 extra ounces and store the rest

·         6:50am: Gather pump supplies and lunch and throw in the car

·         7:00am: Nurse Eva

·         7:20am: Gather Eva’s diaper bag, frozen milk, bottles, the 3oz that I pumped to add to her bottles, change if she needs it and walk over Eva over to her awesome sitter.

·         8:00am: Arrive at work try  to see 2 kids (if I’m lucky) before I have to pump unless it’s Tuesday and I’m in a staffing until 9:30am and no kids are going to be seen until 10:30am.

·         10:00am: 1st pumping session (hand sign on door, pump, store and wash pumping attachments) (missing a chance of seeing any kid during 3^rd period)

·         10:30am: Back to work

·         1:00pm: 2^nd pumping session (missing any change of seeing a kid during 6^th period)

·         4:00pm: 3^rd pumping session, while I do some documentation and provider contacts (I’ll have to juggle this when I start doing 3pm group sessions)

·         4:30pm: Drive home

·         5:00pm: Get home to bag and store pumped milk, clean pump supplies, sterilize bottles, place milk cooler in freezer for tomorrow, transfer milk to deep freezer if needed  

·         5:10-30pm: Pick up Eva if Seth hasn’t already, discuss Eva’s day

·         6:00pm: A 30min workout, get Eva up with toys in the living room or swing in the garage while we workout

·         6:30pm: Set Eva down for a nap, shower, and start dinner

·         7:00pm: Nurse Eva

·         7:30pm: Change her, get her PJs on, finish dinner and eat at some point in the night

·         8:00pm: Get bottles and diaper bag ready (binkie, extra outfit, toy, diapers or wipes if needed), for the next day, pack lunches. Squeeze in anything that cannot wait for the weekend (a bill, an order, read a few pages for book club) – and play with Eva of course

·         9:00pm: Eva naps

·         9:30pm: Head upstairs. Eva get’s her last change, a bath on some nights, and nurse her and put her to bed.

·         10:00pm: SLEEP

I’m painfully aware that I don’t HAVE to be pumping or nursing. I’m choosing this. Why in Sam’s hell am I choosing this again?

1. To provide the BEST nutrition for Eva
2. To make it possible to still nurse her when we are together
3. To keep that special closeness and attachment going
4. To avoid the health risks associated with formula feeding
5. To miss less work, because breastfed babies are sick less often
6. To save money ($800 a year!)
7. Later in life she'll have fewer cavities
8. Less likely to become obese later in childhood.
9. Less likely to develop juvenile, insulin-dependent diabetes than children who are fed formula
10. Decreased risk of childhood cancer
11. More likely to have lower blood pressure on average than those who were formula-fed. Thus, decreased heart disease
12. Decreased risk of psychological, behavioral and learning problems as she grows older
13. Her cognitive development is increased
14. In researching the psychological benefits of breast milk, one researcher found that breast-fed children were, on average, more mature, assertive and secure with themselves as they developed
15. I'm less likely to get osteoporosis later in life
16. I'm able to lose weight more easily 
17. Lowers my risk of breast, uterine and ovarian cancer
18. No messing with bottles and temps when I'm around
19. I get blog this while I'm pumping ;)

My last day of maternity leave.

Twelve weeks have never been so challenging, fast and blessed all at the same time. I look fondly back to our labor and delivery. In hindsight, it was all so beautiful. How those first 2 weeks (rather 4 weeks) was beyond difficult. I could go on and on about the pain of learning how to nurse, round the clock sleep deprivation and learning what all her crying is all about, first outings, first public nursing session, first vaccines. Truthfully, my heart and mind are occupied about two things today, graciousness and wonder.

Graciousness: The first is how the journey of new parenthood is peppered with thankfulness for ALL the people that came out of the woodwork to help us. The number of neighbors, friends, and co-workers who were more than willing to fill our bellies the first month. The family that visited, called, and prayed for us. I’m moved by the messages of advice, wisdom and encouragement as we navigated sleep, poop, nursing, pumping, aches, vaccines and pains. Priceless gifts were showered on our little one (heirlooms, embroidered blankets, handmade baby clothes). Even friends coming over to help or drop off care packages while we pushed through being a sick parent for the first time (a few times actually). New lifelong friendships have been forged with neighbors and couples from our birth class. Words cannot express our appreciation for everyone’s help. As our neighbor Tiffany says, “Mother’s don’t let mother’s mother alone.” I’d take it further and say that big-hearted people don’t let new parents parent alone. “It takes a village” has a whole new meaning to me know. With heavy tears, I say THANK YOU! 

Wonder: Naturally I have mixed emotions about returning to work. I look forward to feeling balanced and exponentially more like myself. I have a whole new breath of excitement in my career. As a mental health counselor with teens, I have a warmer passion to teach, guide, heal, and listen to our youth. I’m thirsty to make a difference. I’m giddy to reconnect with my awesome team of co-workers and supervisors. I’m excited to get a taste of our new day-to-day routine and figure out what works for our family. With all that said, I am quite nervous about SLEEP in finding that routine. I’m sad to think of missing out on lazy morning and napping with my daughter, being there for all her coos, and milestones. While I’m 110% confident in our childcare provider, it’s just hard to not be the one to sooth her, coo with her, and meet her needs. It’s sad to think about the little time we’re going to have with our daughter during the week. I’m sure I’ll have all kinds of worries that many new parents have, “Will she forget me?” “Will I forget how to care for her?” “Will my absence damage her?” All irrational; I know. I warn you, I will be emotional for awhile. I’m reminded that parents do this all the time. No, we're not 1st parents do tackle these milestones. We’ll find our way. Ultimately, working and setting time aside to decompress with working out will make me a happier and therefore better mommy to our daughter. I will turn any worry into wonder and look forward to this next chapter. 

Enter my next reflection 3 months from now about all the friends and family who have been there for us as we transitioned into working parents. I’m told the first two weeks are the hardest. Hmmm, that sounds familiar.