A Doula For Me, A Doula For You?

Choosing our Doula
The word doula comes from the Greek language. It literally means hand maiden or servant, I preference the definition, Mother of the Mother.

Our midwife suggested that we research to see if a doula is right for us. We did. We got referrals. We sat with the stack of cards. We made no calls. Why? Each weekend seemed to be filled with other have-to’s. Also, something inside me told me to shelf it. Once we were at 34 weeks and pretty much assumed that the doula ship has sailed. It dawned on me. My dear friend, nurse, doula, ex-co-worker, Nancy! She’s delivered babies for over 30 years. Now she only doulas for friends and family. We talked it over and agreed that this would be the BEST doula for us. It all dovetailed perfectly. I have a call and she was free for a quick chat during our lunch break. Small talk ensued and then I proposed, “Will you be our doula?” Tears, hugs and kisses. She was secretly hoping that we would ask her, but didn’t want to put unintended obligation on us. We went to dinner the following Friday, the 3 of us. Well, #4 was in my uterus still. We talked her approach, our needs (before, during and after), our worries, our joys. 

I begin to express the joy I feel about bringing our daughter Earth Side surrounded by powerful nurturing women: my midwife, her assistant, my Breathing From Within teacher, and Doula. Seth, the man of the hour, will experience a level of strength and support like never experienced. He will be mothered as well. I’m thrilled to go into labor!!! Weird, I know. I just know that it’s going to be a Natural and beautiful setting for us. 

The following is some research on Doulaness for your reading pleasure. Keep in mind, this is aimed more for parents who are having a hospital birth. I am going natural at a birth center with home visits from my midwife and no overnight lodging (with the exception of laboring throughout the night). 

A proven benefit: constant support
Although there are no official statistics, experts in childbirth education estimate that in the United States, 1 percent of births are overseen by doulas. And they say the numbers are rising as evidence of the benefits adds up. There are no known risks to the mother or baby in having a doula — and lots of benefits.
A scientific review involving six studies of more than 2,000 women found that with the continuous support of a trained doula, epidural use decreased by 60 percent. Also, the number of Cesarean sections dropped by 50 percent, oxytocin use for labor induction decreased by 40 percent, forceps use by 40 percent, and the average length of labor by 25 percent.

“We think that anxiety can slow or stop contractions,” says John H. Kennell, M.D., professor of pediatrics at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland and one of the researchers involved in the review. “The doula’s experience and knowledge help set the mother [and her partner] at ease.”
Postpartum advantages are adding up as well: Research by Kennell and others suggests that doula-supported mothers breastfeed more successfully and suffer from less postpartum anxiety and depression than new moms without such support.

The making of a doula
Labor-doula trainees typically attend a workshop led by experienced doulas. They learn about the labor process and about techniques for pain relief and effective communication with a laboring woman, her partner and hospital staff, says Penny Simpkin, P.T., a childbirth educator and co-founder of Doulas of North America. A doula also must attend three to 10 births in order to be certified.
Postpartum doulas — who help women after delivery — learn how to prepare family meals, care for newborns   and provide lactation support.

Typically, labor doulas meet with the expecting parents at least twice before contractions start to answer questions and discuss the birth plan. A few weeks before the due date, most labor doulas are on call; they often check in with the family after delivery to talk about the birth. Fees for such a package range from $150 to $1,000.

For $300, my doula, Sue Ann, promised two prenatal visits, support from the first contraction to the last, and two postpartum visits. My husband, Craig, and I got much more. During prenatal visits, we talked about our hopes for the birth. Sue Ann taught us how to practice labor positions that use gravity, such as dancing, rocking and squatting, and she helped us make a list of what to bring to the hospital.

She answered all my questions. “Is it good or bad for the baby to move during a contraction?” (Good.) “Will I be able to tell if my water breaks while I’m swimming?” (Yes.) “What time of day am I most likely to go into labor?” (Many mammals go into labor in the middle of the night, when quiet breeds a sense of safety.) Sue Ann lent us videos on nursing, labor and baby care, as well as copies of useful articles. She accompanied us to two doctor’s appointments and, when I was overdue, to the hospital for an application of prostaglandin gel to prepare my cervix for induction.

The power of the doula
At one point, I became frustrated when my due date passed without incident. Sue Ann suggested that I massage my belly to reconnect with my baby. “Rub gently downward,” she said. “Think about how you can’t wait to meet him.” With those simple, reassuring words, she helped me refocus my attention on the beauty, mystery and spirituality of childbirth.

Her presence sustained my husband and me through the 23 hours I was in the delivery room. In that time, my doctor came and left three times, and the nursing shift changed three times. Sue Ann was nearby from start to finish. As contractions became more intense, she offered options: Do you want to try dancing or squatting or spending time in the hot tub?

When it was time to push, Craig stood on one side with Sue Ann on the other, holding and rubbing my legs and coaching me to breathe in, hold and push. She positioned a mirror so that I could see my son crowning. And when Cobi slipped out, she stepped back to let Craig and me welcome him.

Sue Ann eased our transition from hospital to home by keeping in touch with us via phone, and cooking us a homemade dinner of rice-and-bean enchiladas and oatmeal-raisin cookies. As our doula, she guided us through late pregnancy to early parenthood, offering the steady hand of someone who has passed that way before.

Weighty Issues (Written at 27 weeks along)

Weighty Issues

*Warning: New Mommy Confessions*

I believe I was at 18 weeks when I had my first full blown pregnancy hormone emotional explosion. It was a doozey that tapped me out because I haven’t had one since. The trigger: the SCALE. Let’s just say it was over by 10 pounds of what is recommended in every book, website. It hit me half way on the way to work. I literally pulled over at the fairy terminal and called 3 friends who I banked on being free at that time in the morning to talk me down. You see, prior to pregnancy I surfaced from a lot of hard work to get fit, healthy and confident. ALL of which meant no scales, no calorie counting, and no stress. It took a journey to get to that point. In my 20s I was a ball of insecurities, obsessions, and self loathing. It wasn’t until a friend took me on the longest hike of my life during one of my deepest depression of my life, surviving the scariest of cancer scares and moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone, and surrounded myself with positive active people did I switch my focus. I threw out the number crunching, the “bad” foods list, the scale hopping. I chose health, strength, and energy FIRST and the end result was getting in the best physical shape of my life. Let’s not confuse thin with healthy either. Healthy and thin are two very different things. I was leaner, faster, stronger, smaller at 105-10 than I ever was at a miserable, weak, winded, and larger (yes larger) 95-100.  I prefer muscles and fitting into my jeans now.

With that said, I was pulled over at 18 weeks having a panic attack and flooded with old anxieties. Not to mention the slew of negative thinking (e.g., I’m gonna balloon up to 50+ by 40 weeks, the baby can hear me unhappy and that makes me a bad mommy already). Yes, I went there. Lots of reassurance was given that it will be okay. It was hard for me to take someone’s word for it, even trusted friends. I wanted a crystal ball so badly!!! I haven’t stressed about a number on a scale for over 3 years. Even at doctor’s visits I’d just step on backwards and they know that I don’t care to know the number. “I’m not a number,” I’d smile. I didn’t want to take steps backwards. By 1pm – yes – it took me that long to get a grip – I had a plan. What was unhealthy for me pre-pregnancy, may have to be a tool toward healthy now. I contacted my midwife, who was beyond compassionate with me. I started tracking my calories. We created a week-by-week goal for me to stay active and intake the right amount of the right amount of sustenance. Yes, this includes weigh-ins. I have to admit that it has been strange to put on the old tools that led me astray way back when. Oh, the second part of the plan. Follow the plan and breath easy trusting that it’s all gonna work out.

So far I’m right on track and feeling confident. Something I didn’t think I’d be able to say nearly 10 weeks ago. Through this journey, I’ve been able to rehash unfinished self-esteem issues I thought I buried and am discovering a whole new level of commitment toward healthful living. As my counselor pointed out to me, my old obsessed self can now step up to the plate and have her tools be sharpened toward a greater good. I didn’t have to snuff her out and be afraid of the old self coming out after all. I’ve also done a ton of research. My inner nerd is happy. The following is a few kernels of what I’ve learned so far. 

BEFORE PREGNANCY
I was brainwashed by a culture that thinks pregnancy makes you fat. Time and time again, I’ve been reminded that “Oh, you won’t be the same after kids.” And I’ve heard the criticisms by women who label other women as vain or unhealthy when they do bounce back. Most people seem to hold this belief and look at women who lose the weight quickly like they are some freaks of nature, since it has become so rare to see a woman bounce back fast. Case in point, who hasn’t admired friends, neighbors or celebrities like Heidi Klum’s rapid return to her pre-pregnancy weight. In an interview years ago, she was answering a question about how she lost the weight and said in return, “Well, you have to ask yourself what you looked like before pregnancy.” Makes sense. You cannot get pregnant and expect to look like a supermodel if you didn’t look like one before. And, pregnancy isn’t going to get you in shape. So, her point was, if you are in shape before, you will have a better shot at losing the weight after. Right? Seems to make sense. So there’s Step 1: Get Fit First. Thank my lucky starts that I had Step 1 cuddled next to a big check mark going into this.

DURING PREGNANCY
I’m one of those people who got pregnant, and got nauseas. I made the mistake of confusing nausea with needing a snack (another “it worked then” fallacy that led to my week 18 melt down). After a week or two of this, I found a cure: the running and working out. Six days a week and it cured my nausea, albeit temporarily! Breaking a sweat did it! HA! Whodathunk!?! So I’ve been nurturing my habit all a long. I plan on exercising least 5-6 days a week through my whole pregnancy. Hopefully I continue to gain the weight right on pace. I was told that at my starting weight, I really needed to gain about 30-40 lbs ish since I started on the slim side to begin with. Thankfully Baby Molano doesn’t like junk foods and I haven’t had any cravings - yet. I plan on not eating poorly, nor eating extra. Oh, and I’ve been drinking a TON of water. We’re talking about 48 to 72oz, especially with breaking a sweat. Indeed, I am a pee machine! So far, no swelling or retained water. I wonder how long I’ll be able to wear my wedding ring???

Getting pregnant has, like I said, took health to a whole new level. Suddenly my health is more important to me than ever before. When I exercise, so does my baby. When I eat healthy, so does my baby. When I fail in these two areas, so does my baby. This is enough motivation for me. I can say proudly that I’m not using pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything I wanted or sit back and slack on my exercise. I think this is the major problem for so many women who struggle to lose the baby weight. So, Step 2: Exercise. Eat Healthy. Don’t Gain Too Much Weight (which you won’t if you follow the exercise/eat healthy part).

AFTER PREGNANCY
I’ve been diligently researching, reading, lurking at post pregnancy blogs. All in search for motivation, and realistic healthy expectations and a step to add to my Step 3. I’ve learned that it’s not unheard of to loss most (as in 80%) of the weight in the first month postpartum doing NOTHING. I kid you not. As my midwife, friends, counselor, and fellow body coaches say…the body wants to be back to your normal. There will be night sweats, constant bathroom breaks, and of course the breastfeeding magic to rid your body of the excess fluid. As my husband says, “I’m not worried. Your to stubborn to not bounce back.” In fact, he believes that I’ll be back to my INSANITY (no pun intended) and running and actually “be stronger and happier than before.” So, going in thinking that Step 3 was going be this complicated pre-prep project actually boiled down to being quite simple. Step 3: Follow Part 2 & The Body Will Take Care of the Rest.

WHY
I’m sure some may read this and roll their eyes and think that I shouldn’t focus so much on this topic when I have a much bigger priority on the way. This “Why” section is for you (and me). Plainly, I’m focused on this because of the bigger priority on her way.

Womb side:
Regular physical activity during pregnancy can help you: strengthen the muscles you need for labor and delivery; control mood swings; sleep better; combat the blues; improve circulation and posture; reduce some of the discomforts of pregnancy (e.g., swelling, leg cramps, shortness of breath, backache, varicose veins and constipation); feel less fatigued; achieve healthy weight gain; and decrease your risk of developing diabetes during pregnancy

Healthy eating habits during pregnancy are vital. After all, delivering a healthy, happy baby is a goal for all moms. Paying close attention to what you eat during pregnancy can help you achieve this goal.

Gaining weight is a normal and important part of a healthy pregnancy. You will likely need to eat more than you did before becoming pregnant, but the notion that you’re “eating for two” isn’t true. It just isn’t. Note that gaining too little or too much weight can be harmful to both you and your baby, so you need to know the guidelines for weight gain.

Studies have shown that a mother's regular aerobic exercise may be good for a growing fetus' health — and may even help a baby get a healthier start in life. Parents who are active during pregnancy and early in their child's life tend to raise more active children.

Babies on the lower end of the normal weight range are considered healthier and less prone to developing diabetes and obesity than heavier ones. Rest assure, regular exercise did not seem to affect the flow of nutrients to the growing babies in the womb.

It's an even more important message for overweight and obese mothers-to-be, who tend to deliver heavier babies (anything over about 8 lb. 12 oz., or 4 kg, is considered a high birth weight), who are then at higher risk of diabetes and obesity later in life. Those heavier children are then more likely to become overweight adults and in turn give birth to bigger babies.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1978193,00.html#ixzz20EzDy7Gz

After Miss Baby Molano is Earth Side:

I feel that it is my responsibility to be a role model. In this I should share preventative health practices with my daughter. I want to be a reliable source of factual information and knowing where to learn more about health topics. Initiating open dialogue that includes honest discussions about sensitive health topics like body esteem, self-respect, insecurities, and human development. I need to walk my talk by practicing regular healthy habits such as: regular exercise and fitness activities that are fun and including our daughter in fun activity like dancing, skipping rope, or gardening. Not smoking or using any tobacco products or other toxins. Making healthy eating a regular pattern with our daughter. Managing stress in a positive manner and demonstrating positive coping strategies.

Your attitude about your own body and sensuality, whether you talk about it or not, is automatically passed down to your daughter. Who you are affects your daughter’s sense of self for the rest of her life. A mother who accepts how she looks, and has a healthy attitude about weight, wrinkles, and aging, goes a long way in helping to counter the peer and media pressure her daughter faces. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, our negative feelings can actually alter our body chemistry. Teens living in a race for a perfection that can’t be won are experiencing an increase of negative emotions and related physiological problems. The connection between one’s thoughts, emotions, physiological responses and self-image is critical to optimal health. The old adage, “A healthy mind—a healthy body” is true. How a woman feels about herself is key not only to her emotional but also to her physical health. Extensive research on the hormonal and immune effects of chronic stress on humans reveals that feelings of hopelessness and helplessness seem to cause the most dramatic changes in stress hormones, sex hormones, and immune system functioning.

In total the best gift I can give our daughter is to be a healthy and strong woman. I believe she will catch the habits by watching me – and her father too.

"The fathers have eaten a sour grape and the children's teeth are set on edge". (Jeremiah, Book 31, Verse 29) This quote from the Bible represented the power of the father as the primary authority of the family for many centuries. His word was unquestioned, his decision final, his influence dominant in all matters relating to family. What he was not seen as was a caretaker of the children - that rested with (or was vested in) the mother, or mother substitute.

The world began to radically change with the social, economic and technical changes of the 20th Century and, with those changes, came a basic change in the structure and function of the family -- with a consequent shift in the authority of the father. His influence was increasingly seen as minor, even negligible, and his importance was defined by how well he provided for the family.

Another factor in the diminished role of the father was the then new field of psychology. In fact, psychology became part of the problem. Research studies did not place much importance on the role of the father, and his influence on the development and growth of his child was reported as "insignificant". Parent often the same as mother -- and father, if mentioned, was equivalent to other influences. Only a small number of parent-child studies investigated the father's role, and the few studies that were done at that time focused on the father's involvement as reported by the mother. For example, in a number of studies that used over 2,000 parents who responded to questions about parenting, not one father was interviewed. An indirect result of the lack of research data on fathers was the implied assumption that fathers weren't interested in fathering. The pendulum of the father's influence swung so far that the verse would have read: The fathers have eaten a sour grape that had an influence on the mothers who chose not to offer them to the children.

The pendulum slowly began to swing back in the 1970's with newly designed studies beginning to support the impact of fathers. These days, neither the general public nor psychological researchers, see the father as an equivalent to "other influences". The professional journals, as well as the Internet, are filled with articles reporting results confirming the importance of the father.

What does the research say these days? According to a report in "Fathers and Their Impact on Children's Well-Being":

"Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.

The way fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child's emotional and social development. Fathers spend a higher percentage of their one-to-one interactions with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior.

Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. The influence of a father's involvement extends into teen years and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents."

What is the reality these days? There is no question that fathers do play an important part in their children's lives; that the majority of studies affirm that an involved father can play a crucial role particularly in the cognitive, behavioral and general health and well-being areas of a child's life; that having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; that adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when fathered by an involved father; that it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, a father's presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child's healthy development as is the mother's; and that experiencing validation of their importance in the general parenting literature has made fathers much more conscious of their value and, in turn, leads to their greater desire to be involved.

But there is still a wide gap between research results and the true acceptance of the value of fathers, with many fathers expressing the feeling that they continue to be second-class citizens in the world of their children. Books, magazines and morning television shows are filled with information about and for mothers and mothering. How many comparable ones have you seen about fathers? It's only recently that domestic courts, recognizing the research on parenting and fathers, have moved to greater equal child custody decrees. Fathers who want to become more actively involved in their children's lives often hit barriers from employers, the media and even their wives who may feel threatened by a child calling for "daddy" instead of "mommy".

We'll know when we reach equal parity when Father's Day becomes as well celebrated as Mother's Day.

The Importance of Fathers

Is Father's Day Real?

Published on June 23, 2011 by Ditta M. Oliker, Ph.D. in The Long Reach of Childhood

25 Things I Want to Teach Our Daughter

I want our little girl to be independent, confident, and wise. I’ve found this list and tweaked it into a list of things I want her to know as she begins her journey with us. 

1. Enjoy the innocence of your childhood. GROW SLOW.

In a world full of superficial values, peer pressure, and bullying, as well as a pop culture that pushes materialism and consumerism – you are being leapfrogged through your childhood.  There is a constant pressure for you to grow up WAY to fast. I mean, when did 5 become the new 10, anyway?

2. Smart is the new cool.

Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math.  Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths.

3. No matter how many times you hear it, “Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend.”

Friends are invaluable.  They are trusting and loyal.  They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad.  Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.

4. Go for it, get dirty! It’s good for you.

Besides the fact that getting dirty actually does help support your immunity, it’s also a great way to express creativity!  Sculpt, draw, and stomp.  Better yet, go “classic” and make some mud pies. Mommy made some great ones back in her day. 

5. Beat the boys at their own games.

Football, baseball, hockey or golf, never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl.  So go ahead, build the tallest tower of legos, kick butt on Xbox, and bust out your light saber.

6. Be spiritual.

Find the desire to understand the universe and your place in it.  Take the time to notice the earth and all of its beauty.  Give thanks to God.  He has a GOOD plan for you. 

7.  See the world.

Experience new cultures, religions, people, and places.  Open your heart and mind to the tremendous benefits of studying and visiting domestic and foreign lands.  The world is bigger than just the city you grew up in, the state you happen to have your driver’s licensed in.

8. A strong hand shake leaves a lasting impression.

It represents self-confidence and ambition.  A strong hand shake and eye contact exemplifies a mutual respect for one another and is a sign that you are friendly, trustworthy, and honest.

9. Choose your role models carefully.

Even though you are still little, I’m glad that you don’t know who lady gaga is. Don’t feel like you have to go gaga over people, things, trends that your friends are drooling over. For all you know, you’re their role model. 

10. Read something everyday.

From the Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss to Junie B Jones, reading is exercise for your brain.  It expands knowledge and vocabulary- and lets your imagination run wild.

11. When it comes to wearing make-up, there’s a general rule of thumb that applies – LESS is MORE.

12. When it comes to fashion, shorter does not always equal better.  Fashion trends come and go and not all of it is fabulous.  Half tops and mini skirts are great for an 85 degree day at the beach or if you’re a Miami Dolphins cheerleader, but not for your high school yearbook photo or Tuesday’s Geometri’s class. 

13. Please, please, please do not allow yourself to become someone else’s property.  Why this is trendy, I will never figure out.  If you want to make a statement about yourself on clothing, at least let it describe an aspect of who YOU are. This goes with hickies too. Don’t let a guy mark his territory like a dog. It probably means he is one, and you deserve better. 

14. Speaking of trends, I hope that by the time you are allowed to date, guys don’t wear their pants hanging half way down their ass.  I really feel like this has been pretty popular for quite some time and I am praying that it finally goes away by 2022.  Also, I will flip my lid if you become this guy’s property! 

15. Being an angel should not and does not mean wearing only your bra, underwear, and a set of wings for everyone to see.

16. Since you’re growing up in the technological age of iPad, iPod, iPhone, and texting, I have to address the horrendous lack of writing skills being used by today’s youth. Bottom line, don’t use text lingo in your thesis.

17. Speaking of text lingo, verbal slang is just as unprofessional.  Reminds me of Alicia Silverstone from Clueless.  OMG, ROFL, BFF, TMI, FYI, IDK….As If.

18. Don’t let pop culture define you.

I don’t know why, but today we let pop culture manipulate our youth and it’s killing them emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.  From the early on fascination with princesses, to the ‘need’ for a boyfriend, be skinny, and big boobs, popularity, teen moms, and all the other garbage being thrown in their face – be confident going against the grain.

19. Accept yourself for who you are.

You’re one-of-a-kind and that’s what makes you beautiful.  Tall, short, big, small, blonde, brunette, redhead, white, brown, blue, pink, yellow – we are all DIFFERENT.

20. Mainstream your health.

It’s life’s greatest asset.  A positive approach to health encompasses physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well being.  Healthy lifestyle choices in your youth will help lay a strong foundation for continued wellness throughout your adult life.  Diet, exercise, stress management, self motivation, positiveness, and meditation, as well as a number of other approaches are guaranteed to make a huge impact on your quality of life, health, and happiness.

21. Have confidence in yourself.

A positive self image assures power, strength, ability, and value.  It will enable you to conquer your goals and allow you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams.

22. Be a sister. Be a friend. Be a protector. Speak up for those you can’t, won’t or should. 

23. Love with all your heart.

For where there is love there is life.  Love is universal and felt by all living things.  So strong is the feeling of love that it is said it makes the world go round.

24. Never be afraid to laugh at your self.

Laughter is humbling.  It inspires and motivates.

25. Wherever you are in life, you can come home.  We will be here – always.

Babymoon Ups and Downs

10 Things I Miss From My Anniversary and Babymoon Vacation

1. All-inclusive yumminess. Not thinking of what to make for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. AND not having make said meals and snacks
2. Not knowing or caring what time or day it is
3. Not having a computer or cellphone on us
4. Tanning poolside and beachside
5. All eyes on the pregnant lady in her bikini
6. Quality romantic time with the love of my life. Each day was a long date J
7. Everywhere there is happy friendly people – all the time
8. Taking a nap in the middle the day and not feeling bad about it
9. Lots of great things to photograph
10. Practicing my Spanish

10 Things I Do NOT Miss From My Anniversary and Babymoon Vacation

1. All-inclusive yumminess. Stuff’s hard to moderate when pregnant
2. Not waking up to our little Po
3. Swollen feet
4. The LONG LIST of CAN’Ts: ride horses on the beach, bungie, zipline, surf, water taxi to Lover’s Beach or snorkeling, parasailing, eat salad, and of course grown-up pina coladas
5. All eyes on the pregnant lady in her bikini, with a ton of non-impregnated lithe beauties aplenty around
6. Working out in a gym and not being able to log my miles
7. Bad coffee
8. Paranoia if what I’m eating is going to make me and the baby sick (all I wanted was SALAD when I got home)
9. Brushing my teeth with bottled water
10. Fuzzy hard to manage vacation hair

Collection of Rude Pregnancy Comments

I do not admit to or deny being the subject of the following "Rude Pregnancy Comments." However, I'm sure you can deduce which ones I've had the pleasure to internally cringe at. My personal favorite. The last one...I'll be blogging about that one soon.

Nice Boobs!

"I bet you're liking those boobs! They look nice cause she's pregnant, but they probably won't after she has the baby." (To the husband of a mom-to-be while they were out shopping.)

Can I See Your ID?

"You look too young to be having a baby ... "

Big Is Not the Word

"God, you're gigantic."

Are You Sure ..

" ... there's a baby in there?" (To a mama not showing in a big way.)

 "Are you eating? You know it's dangerous to diet when your pregnant."

Calorie Police

"Are you going to be eating those all by yourself?"

“Did you even have time to lose the weight from the first one?”

"When were you due, like, yesterday?"

"How much weight have you gained?"

Fortune Tellers

"I'm sure your baby's going to come early -- there's no way you could make it all the way to your due date."

The Gender Question

“Oh no! STILL no boy?” (or girl!)

“So are you trying for a (girl/boy) this time?”

Not Your Breast, Not Your Business

"Are you going to breastfeed? Why not?"

Out of Line!

"I was at the grocery store one day, and knew several of the cashiers. Sarah looks at me and says, 'How far along are you?' I said almost 36 weeks. She decides to tell me that Candice, another cashier, just went into labor yesterday and gave birth to a stillborn after a full-term seemingly healthy pregnancy. This was with my first pregnancy, and I thought, well, if I was nervous before you sure DIDN'T put my mind at ease any!"

Stating the Obvious

"You haven't had your baby yet?"

 

How Soon They Forget

 "You're eating AGAIN?" or "How can you STILL be hungry?

Daddy of All Comments

"Are you sure your husband is the father?"

Fit to Be Tied

"Are you getting your tubes tied? You've been pregnant forever."

Kiss Your Life Goodbye

"Hope you like getting your sleep now. You'll never have a night to sleep again."

"When people see me reading a book or just relaxing: "Oh you better get in all your reading now because in a few months you aren't going to be able to do that anymore.' "

I'm not Buddha!

This week in pregnancy, which is 17 weeks and 5days (Not that I'm counting), has surfaced "the Bump" and some of the new glorious issues that come with "the Bump."

1) Let's face it. I'm gaining poundage like I've never gained poundage before, and have pridefully avoided until now. There is a sense of relief that I'm past the I've-got-me-a-gut phase to the "Oh, you're starting to look pregnant" phase. You'd think the latter comment would continue my sigh of relief. But, no, there is that part of me that is shrinking inside knowing that I'm now publicly bigger. Honey, it ain't gonna get any bit easier. I know, I know, I know. Thankfully I'm back on track weight-wise after unknowingly gaining to much my 1st trimester. I'm hell bent on staying within the 25-30 recommendation and staying active throughout (another blog entry entirely, I digress).

2) While it's inevitable that I'll be faced with MANY more upcoming "Bumps" in the road, so to speak. Namely, random comments from people impressing me with with their bump whisperer talents informing me that I'm are having a boy or girl depending on how the bump has morphed this which way or that. It's probably best to stave off all these up and coming bump adventures for now...as this will be unfortunately blogged about in the weeks to come. 

3)What inspired this blog occurred earlier this week. Waking up and momentarily forgetting that I'm pregnant. I reached under the blankets to rub my would-be flat tummy between by hipbones and - ?! A BUMP?! Oh, yes. That's right. I can't be the first woman who has forgotten that they are pregnant as they rouse from slumber. Can I? Well, later that day, I'm asked by someone I hardly know at all if they can rub my Bump. The same Bump that didn't exist earlier this morning. Okay, okay, okay. I realize that touching a pregnant woman's belly or bump is this huge cultural thing. Keep in mind that I wasn't mentally prepared to be asked so soon in my pregnancy. I was off guard. I happen to think it's rather creepy to physically assault a pregnant woman's bump whom you hardly know. I'll tolerate it from people I actually know (friends, close relatives, fellow human factory making women, etc). I also understand kids under the age of 8 being really curious about it. But, for the love of Pete, I'm pregnant - not Buddha!

What I really want to know is not why do people want to feel the bump but why do people think I'm a total crazy for not wanting new people to touch my stomach? Are they aware that the bottom of that bump they want to grope is my who-ha?! And do other women enjoy everyone treating their pregnant belly like public property?