Weighty Issues
*Warning: New Mommy Confessions*
I believe I was at 18 weeks when I had my first full blown pregnancy hormone
emotional explosion. It was a doozey that tapped me out because I haven’t had
one since. The trigger: the SCALE. Let’s just say it was over by 10 pounds of
what is recommended in every book, website. It hit me half way on the way to
work. I literally pulled over at the fairy terminal and called 3 friends who I
banked on being free at that time in the morning to talk me down. You see,
prior to pregnancy I surfaced from a lot of hard work to get fit, healthy and
confident. ALL of which meant no scales, no calorie counting, and no stress. It
took a journey to get to that point. In my 20s I was a ball of insecurities,
obsessions, and self loathing. It wasn’t until a friend took me on the longest
hike of my life during one of my deepest depression of my life, surviving the
scariest of cancer scares and moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone,
and surrounded myself with positive active people did I switch my focus. I threw
out the number crunching, the “bad” foods list, the scale hopping. I chose
health, strength, and energy FIRST and the end result was getting in the best
physical shape of my life. Let’s not confuse thin with healthy either. Healthy
and thin are two very different things. I was leaner, faster, stronger, smaller
at 105-10 than I ever was at a miserable, weak, winded, and larger (yes larger)
95-100. I prefer muscles and fitting
into my jeans now.
With that said, I was pulled over at 18 weeks having a panic
attack and flooded with old anxieties. Not to mention the slew of negative
thinking (e.g., I’m gonna balloon up to 50+ by 40 weeks, the baby can hear me
unhappy and that makes me a bad mommy already). Yes, I went there. Lots of
reassurance was given that it will be okay. It was hard for me to take
someone’s word for it, even trusted friends. I wanted a crystal ball so
badly!!! I haven’t stressed about a number on a scale for over 3 years. Even at
doctor’s visits I’d just step on backwards and they know that I don’t care to
know the number. “I’m not a number,” I’d smile. I didn’t want to take steps
backwards. By 1pm – yes – it took me that long to get a grip – I had a plan.
What was unhealthy for me pre-pregnancy, may have to be a tool toward healthy
now. I contacted my midwife, who was beyond compassionate with me. I started
tracking my calories. We created a week-by-week goal for me to stay active and
intake the right amount of the right amount of sustenance. Yes, this includes
weigh-ins. I have to admit that it has been strange to put on the old tools
that led me astray way back when. Oh, the second part of the plan. Follow the
plan and breath easy trusting that it’s all gonna work out.
So far I’m right on track and feeling confident. Something I
didn’t think I’d be able to say nearly 10 weeks ago. Through this journey, I’ve
been able to rehash unfinished self-esteem issues I thought I buried and am
discovering a whole new level of commitment toward healthful living. As my
counselor pointed out to me, my old obsessed self can now step up to the plate
and have her tools be sharpened toward a greater good. I didn’t have to snuff
her out and be afraid of the old self coming out after all. I’ve also done a
ton of research. My inner nerd is happy. The following is a few kernels of what
I’ve learned so far.
I was brainwashed by a culture that thinks pregnancy makes you fat. Time and time again, I’ve been reminded that “Oh, you won’t be the same after kids.” And I’ve heard the criticisms by women who label other women as vain or unhealthy when they do bounce back. Most people seem to hold this belief and look at women who lose the weight quickly like they are some freaks of nature, since it has become so rare to see a woman bounce back fast. Case in point, who hasn’t admired friends, neighbors or celebrities like Heidi Klum’s rapid return to her pre-pregnancy weight. In an interview years ago, she was answering a question about how she lost the weight and said in return, “Well, you have to ask yourself what you looked like before pregnancy.” Makes sense. You cannot get pregnant and expect to look like a supermodel if you didn’t look like one before. And, pregnancy isn’t going to get you in shape. So, her point was, if you are in shape before, you will have a better shot at losing the weight after. Right? Seems to make sense. So there’s Step 1: Get Fit First. Thank my lucky starts that I had Step 1 cuddled next to a big check mark going into this.
DURING PREGNANCY
I’m one of those people who got pregnant, and got nauseas. I made the mistake of confusing nausea with needing a snack (another “it worked then” fallacy that led to my week 18 melt down). After a week or two of this, I found a cure: the running and working out. Six days a week and it cured my nausea, albeit temporarily! Breaking a sweat did it! HA! Whodathunk!?! So I’ve been nurturing my habit all a long. I plan on exercising least 5-6 days a week through my whole pregnancy. Hopefully I continue to gain the weight right on pace. I was told that at my starting weight, I really needed to gain about 30-40 lbs ish since I started on the slim side to begin with. Thankfully Baby Molano doesn’t like junk foods and I haven’t had any cravings - yet. I plan on not eating poorly, nor eating extra. Oh, and I’ve been drinking a TON of water. We’re talking about 48 to 72oz, especially with breaking a sweat. Indeed, I am a pee machine! So far, no swelling or retained water. I wonder how long I’ll be able to wear my wedding ring???
Getting pregnant has, like I said, took health to a whole new level. Suddenly my health is more important to me than ever before. When I exercise, so does my baby. When I eat healthy, so does my baby. When I fail in these two areas, so does my baby. This is enough motivation for me. I can say proudly that I’m not using pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything I wanted or sit back and slack on my exercise. I think this is the major problem for so many women who struggle to lose the baby weight. So, Step 2: Exercise. Eat Healthy. Don’t Gain Too Much Weight (which you won’t if you follow the exercise/eat healthy part).
AFTER PREGNANCY
I’ve been diligently researching, reading, lurking at post pregnancy blogs. All in search for motivation, and realistic healthy expectations and a step to add to my Step 3. I’ve learned that it’s not unheard of to loss most (as in 80%) of the weight in the first month postpartum doing NOTHING. I kid you not. As my midwife, friends, counselor, and fellow body coaches say…the body wants to be back to your normal. There will be night sweats, constant bathroom breaks, and of course the breastfeeding magic to rid your body of the excess fluid. As my husband says, “I’m not worried. Your to stubborn to not bounce back.” In fact, he believes that I’ll be back to my INSANITY (no pun intended) and running and actually “be stronger and happier than before.” So, going in thinking that Step 3 was going be this complicated pre-prep project actually boiled down to being quite simple. Step 3: Follow Part 2 & The Body Will Take Care of the Rest.
WHY
I’m sure some may read this and roll their eyes and think that I shouldn’t focus so much on this topic when I have a much bigger priority on the way. This “Why” section is for you (and me). Plainly, I’m focused on this because of the bigger priority on her way.
Womb side:
Regular physical activity during pregnancy can help you: strengthen the muscles you need for labor and delivery; control mood swings; sleep better; combat the blues; improve circulation and posture; reduce some of the discomforts of pregnancy (e.g., swelling, leg cramps, shortness of breath, backache, varicose veins and constipation); feel less fatigued; achieve healthy weight gain; and decrease your risk of developing diabetes during pregnancy
Healthy eating habits during pregnancy are vital. After all,
delivering a healthy, happy baby is a goal for all moms. Paying close attention
to what you eat during pregnancy can help you achieve this goal.
Gaining weight is a normal and important part of a healthy pregnancy. You will likely need to eat more than you did before becoming pregnant, but the notion that you’re “eating for two” isn’t true. It just isn’t. Note that gaining too little or too much weight can be harmful to both you and your baby, so you need to know the guidelines for weight gain.
Studies have shown that a mother's
regular aerobic exercise may be good for a growing fetus' health — and may even
help a baby get a healthier start in life. Parents who are active during
pregnancy and early in their child's life tend to raise more active children.
Babies on the lower end of the
normal weight range are considered healthier and less prone to developing
diabetes and obesity than heavier ones. Rest assure, regular exercise did not
seem to affect the flow of nutrients to the growing babies in the womb.
It's an even more important message for overweight and obese mothers-to-be, who tend to deliver heavier babies (anything over about 8 lb. 12 oz., or 4 kg, is considered a high birth weight), who are then at higher risk of diabetes and obesity later in life. Those heavier children are then more likely to become overweight adults and in turn give birth to bigger babies.
I feel that it is my responsibility to be a role model. In this I should share preventative health practices with my daughter. I want to be a reliable source of factual information and knowing where to learn more about health topics. Initiating open dialogue that includes honest discussions about sensitive health topics like body esteem, self-respect, insecurities, and human development. I need to walk my talk by practicing regular healthy habits such as: regular exercise and fitness activities that are fun and including our daughter in fun activity like dancing, skipping rope, or gardening. Not smoking or using any tobacco products or other toxins. Making healthy eating a regular pattern with our daughter. Managing stress in a positive manner and demonstrating positive coping strategies.
Your attitude about your own body and sensuality, whether you talk about it or not, is automatically passed down to your daughter. Who you are affects your daughter’s sense of self for the rest of her life. A mother who accepts how she looks, and has a healthy attitude about weight, wrinkles, and aging, goes a long way in helping to counter the peer and media pressure her daughter faces. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, our negative feelings can actually alter our body chemistry. Teens living in a race for a perfection that can’t be won are experiencing an increase of negative emotions and related physiological problems. The connection between one’s thoughts, emotions, physiological responses and self-image is critical to optimal health. The old adage, “A healthy mind—a healthy body” is true. How a woman feels about herself is key not only to her emotional but also to her physical health. Extensive research on the hormonal and immune effects of chronic stress on humans reveals that feelings of hopelessness and helplessness seem to cause the most dramatic changes in stress hormones, sex hormones, and immune system functioning.
In total the best gift I can give our daughter is to be a healthy and strong woman. I believe she will catch the habits by watching me – and her father too.
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