A Doula For Me, A Doula For You?

Choosing our Doula
The word doula comes from the Greek language. It literally means hand maiden or servant, I preference the definition, Mother of the Mother.

Our midwife suggested that we research to see if a doula is right for us. We did. We got referrals. We sat with the stack of cards. We made no calls. Why? Each weekend seemed to be filled with other have-to’s. Also, something inside me told me to shelf it. Once we were at 34 weeks and pretty much assumed that the doula ship has sailed. It dawned on me. My dear friend, nurse, doula, ex-co-worker, Nancy! She’s delivered babies for over 30 years. Now she only doulas for friends and family. We talked it over and agreed that this would be the BEST doula for us. It all dovetailed perfectly. I have a call and she was free for a quick chat during our lunch break. Small talk ensued and then I proposed, “Will you be our doula?” Tears, hugs and kisses. She was secretly hoping that we would ask her, but didn’t want to put unintended obligation on us. We went to dinner the following Friday, the 3 of us. Well, #4 was in my uterus still. We talked her approach, our needs (before, during and after), our worries, our joys. 

I begin to express the joy I feel about bringing our daughter Earth Side surrounded by powerful nurturing women: my midwife, her assistant, my Breathing From Within teacher, and Doula. Seth, the man of the hour, will experience a level of strength and support like never experienced. He will be mothered as well. I’m thrilled to go into labor!!! Weird, I know. I just know that it’s going to be a Natural and beautiful setting for us. 

The following is some research on Doulaness for your reading pleasure. Keep in mind, this is aimed more for parents who are having a hospital birth. I am going natural at a birth center with home visits from my midwife and no overnight lodging (with the exception of laboring throughout the night). 

A proven benefit: constant support
Although there are no official statistics, experts in childbirth education estimate that in the United States, 1 percent of births are overseen by doulas. And they say the numbers are rising as evidence of the benefits adds up. There are no known risks to the mother or baby in having a doula — and lots of benefits.
A scientific review involving six studies of more than 2,000 women found that with the continuous support of a trained doula, epidural use decreased by 60 percent. Also, the number of Cesarean sections dropped by 50 percent, oxytocin use for labor induction decreased by 40 percent, forceps use by 40 percent, and the average length of labor by 25 percent.

“We think that anxiety can slow or stop contractions,” says John H. Kennell, M.D., professor of pediatrics at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland and one of the researchers involved in the review. “The doula’s experience and knowledge help set the mother [and her partner] at ease.”
Postpartum advantages are adding up as well: Research by Kennell and others suggests that doula-supported mothers breastfeed more successfully and suffer from less postpartum anxiety and depression than new moms without such support.

The making of a doula
Labor-doula trainees typically attend a workshop led by experienced doulas. They learn about the labor process and about techniques for pain relief and effective communication with a laboring woman, her partner and hospital staff, says Penny Simpkin, P.T., a childbirth educator and co-founder of Doulas of North America. A doula also must attend three to 10 births in order to be certified.
Postpartum doulas — who help women after delivery — learn how to prepare family meals, care for newborns   and provide lactation support.

Typically, labor doulas meet with the expecting parents at least twice before contractions start to answer questions and discuss the birth plan. A few weeks before the due date, most labor doulas are on call; they often check in with the family after delivery to talk about the birth. Fees for such a package range from $150 to $1,000.

For $300, my doula, Sue Ann, promised two prenatal visits, support from the first contraction to the last, and two postpartum visits. My husband, Craig, and I got much more. During prenatal visits, we talked about our hopes for the birth. Sue Ann taught us how to practice labor positions that use gravity, such as dancing, rocking and squatting, and she helped us make a list of what to bring to the hospital.

She answered all my questions. “Is it good or bad for the baby to move during a contraction?” (Good.) “Will I be able to tell if my water breaks while I’m swimming?” (Yes.) “What time of day am I most likely to go into labor?” (Many mammals go into labor in the middle of the night, when quiet breeds a sense of safety.) Sue Ann lent us videos on nursing, labor and baby care, as well as copies of useful articles. She accompanied us to two doctor’s appointments and, when I was overdue, to the hospital for an application of prostaglandin gel to prepare my cervix for induction.

The power of the doula
At one point, I became frustrated when my due date passed without incident. Sue Ann suggested that I massage my belly to reconnect with my baby. “Rub gently downward,” she said. “Think about how you can’t wait to meet him.” With those simple, reassuring words, she helped me refocus my attention on the beauty, mystery and spirituality of childbirth.

Her presence sustained my husband and me through the 23 hours I was in the delivery room. In that time, my doctor came and left three times, and the nursing shift changed three times. Sue Ann was nearby from start to finish. As contractions became more intense, she offered options: Do you want to try dancing or squatting or spending time in the hot tub?

When it was time to push, Craig stood on one side with Sue Ann on the other, holding and rubbing my legs and coaching me to breathe in, hold and push. She positioned a mirror so that I could see my son crowning. And when Cobi slipped out, she stepped back to let Craig and me welcome him.

Sue Ann eased our transition from hospital to home by keeping in touch with us via phone, and cooking us a homemade dinner of rice-and-bean enchiladas and oatmeal-raisin cookies. As our doula, she guided us through late pregnancy to early parenthood, offering the steady hand of someone who has passed that way before.

Weighty Issues (Written at 27 weeks along)

Weighty Issues

*Warning: New Mommy Confessions*

I believe I was at 18 weeks when I had my first full blown pregnancy hormone emotional explosion. It was a doozey that tapped me out because I haven’t had one since. The trigger: the SCALE. Let’s just say it was over by 10 pounds of what is recommended in every book, website. It hit me half way on the way to work. I literally pulled over at the fairy terminal and called 3 friends who I banked on being free at that time in the morning to talk me down. You see, prior to pregnancy I surfaced from a lot of hard work to get fit, healthy and confident. ALL of which meant no scales, no calorie counting, and no stress. It took a journey to get to that point. In my 20s I was a ball of insecurities, obsessions, and self loathing. It wasn’t until a friend took me on the longest hike of my life during one of my deepest depression of my life, surviving the scariest of cancer scares and moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone, and surrounded myself with positive active people did I switch my focus. I threw out the number crunching, the “bad” foods list, the scale hopping. I chose health, strength, and energy FIRST and the end result was getting in the best physical shape of my life. Let’s not confuse thin with healthy either. Healthy and thin are two very different things. I was leaner, faster, stronger, smaller at 105-10 than I ever was at a miserable, weak, winded, and larger (yes larger) 95-100.  I prefer muscles and fitting into my jeans now.

With that said, I was pulled over at 18 weeks having a panic attack and flooded with old anxieties. Not to mention the slew of negative thinking (e.g., I’m gonna balloon up to 50+ by 40 weeks, the baby can hear me unhappy and that makes me a bad mommy already). Yes, I went there. Lots of reassurance was given that it will be okay. It was hard for me to take someone’s word for it, even trusted friends. I wanted a crystal ball so badly!!! I haven’t stressed about a number on a scale for over 3 years. Even at doctor’s visits I’d just step on backwards and they know that I don’t care to know the number. “I’m not a number,” I’d smile. I didn’t want to take steps backwards. By 1pm – yes – it took me that long to get a grip – I had a plan. What was unhealthy for me pre-pregnancy, may have to be a tool toward healthy now. I contacted my midwife, who was beyond compassionate with me. I started tracking my calories. We created a week-by-week goal for me to stay active and intake the right amount of the right amount of sustenance. Yes, this includes weigh-ins. I have to admit that it has been strange to put on the old tools that led me astray way back when. Oh, the second part of the plan. Follow the plan and breath easy trusting that it’s all gonna work out.

So far I’m right on track and feeling confident. Something I didn’t think I’d be able to say nearly 10 weeks ago. Through this journey, I’ve been able to rehash unfinished self-esteem issues I thought I buried and am discovering a whole new level of commitment toward healthful living. As my counselor pointed out to me, my old obsessed self can now step up to the plate and have her tools be sharpened toward a greater good. I didn’t have to snuff her out and be afraid of the old self coming out after all. I’ve also done a ton of research. My inner nerd is happy. The following is a few kernels of what I’ve learned so far. 

BEFORE PREGNANCY
I was brainwashed by a culture that thinks pregnancy makes you fat. Time and time again, I’ve been reminded that “Oh, you won’t be the same after kids.” And I’ve heard the criticisms by women who label other women as vain or unhealthy when they do bounce back. Most people seem to hold this belief and look at women who lose the weight quickly like they are some freaks of nature, since it has become so rare to see a woman bounce back fast. Case in point, who hasn’t admired friends, neighbors or celebrities like Heidi Klum’s rapid return to her pre-pregnancy weight. In an interview years ago, she was answering a question about how she lost the weight and said in return, “Well, you have to ask yourself what you looked like before pregnancy.” Makes sense. You cannot get pregnant and expect to look like a supermodel if you didn’t look like one before. And, pregnancy isn’t going to get you in shape. So, her point was, if you are in shape before, you will have a better shot at losing the weight after. Right? Seems to make sense. So there’s Step 1: Get Fit First. Thank my lucky starts that I had Step 1 cuddled next to a big check mark going into this.

DURING PREGNANCY
I’m one of those people who got pregnant, and got nauseas. I made the mistake of confusing nausea with needing a snack (another “it worked then” fallacy that led to my week 18 melt down). After a week or two of this, I found a cure: the running and working out. Six days a week and it cured my nausea, albeit temporarily! Breaking a sweat did it! HA! Whodathunk!?! So I’ve been nurturing my habit all a long. I plan on exercising least 5-6 days a week through my whole pregnancy. Hopefully I continue to gain the weight right on pace. I was told that at my starting weight, I really needed to gain about 30-40 lbs ish since I started on the slim side to begin with. Thankfully Baby Molano doesn’t like junk foods and I haven’t had any cravings - yet. I plan on not eating poorly, nor eating extra. Oh, and I’ve been drinking a TON of water. We’re talking about 48 to 72oz, especially with breaking a sweat. Indeed, I am a pee machine! So far, no swelling or retained water. I wonder how long I’ll be able to wear my wedding ring???

Getting pregnant has, like I said, took health to a whole new level. Suddenly my health is more important to me than ever before. When I exercise, so does my baby. When I eat healthy, so does my baby. When I fail in these two areas, so does my baby. This is enough motivation for me. I can say proudly that I’m not using pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything I wanted or sit back and slack on my exercise. I think this is the major problem for so many women who struggle to lose the baby weight. So, Step 2: Exercise. Eat Healthy. Don’t Gain Too Much Weight (which you won’t if you follow the exercise/eat healthy part).

AFTER PREGNANCY
I’ve been diligently researching, reading, lurking at post pregnancy blogs. All in search for motivation, and realistic healthy expectations and a step to add to my Step 3. I’ve learned that it’s not unheard of to loss most (as in 80%) of the weight in the first month postpartum doing NOTHING. I kid you not. As my midwife, friends, counselor, and fellow body coaches say…the body wants to be back to your normal. There will be night sweats, constant bathroom breaks, and of course the breastfeeding magic to rid your body of the excess fluid. As my husband says, “I’m not worried. Your to stubborn to not bounce back.” In fact, he believes that I’ll be back to my INSANITY (no pun intended) and running and actually “be stronger and happier than before.” So, going in thinking that Step 3 was going be this complicated pre-prep project actually boiled down to being quite simple. Step 3: Follow Part 2 & The Body Will Take Care of the Rest.

WHY
I’m sure some may read this and roll their eyes and think that I shouldn’t focus so much on this topic when I have a much bigger priority on the way. This “Why” section is for you (and me). Plainly, I’m focused on this because of the bigger priority on her way.

Womb side:
Regular physical activity during pregnancy can help you: strengthen the muscles you need for labor and delivery; control mood swings; sleep better; combat the blues; improve circulation and posture; reduce some of the discomforts of pregnancy (e.g., swelling, leg cramps, shortness of breath, backache, varicose veins and constipation); feel less fatigued; achieve healthy weight gain; and decrease your risk of developing diabetes during pregnancy

Healthy eating habits during pregnancy are vital. After all, delivering a healthy, happy baby is a goal for all moms. Paying close attention to what you eat during pregnancy can help you achieve this goal.

Gaining weight is a normal and important part of a healthy pregnancy. You will likely need to eat more than you did before becoming pregnant, but the notion that you’re “eating for two” isn’t true. It just isn’t. Note that gaining too little or too much weight can be harmful to both you and your baby, so you need to know the guidelines for weight gain.

Studies have shown that a mother's regular aerobic exercise may be good for a growing fetus' health — and may even help a baby get a healthier start in life. Parents who are active during pregnancy and early in their child's life tend to raise more active children.

Babies on the lower end of the normal weight range are considered healthier and less prone to developing diabetes and obesity than heavier ones. Rest assure, regular exercise did not seem to affect the flow of nutrients to the growing babies in the womb.

It's an even more important message for overweight and obese mothers-to-be, who tend to deliver heavier babies (anything over about 8 lb. 12 oz., or 4 kg, is considered a high birth weight), who are then at higher risk of diabetes and obesity later in life. Those heavier children are then more likely to become overweight adults and in turn give birth to bigger babies.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1978193,00.html#ixzz20EzDy7Gz

After Miss Baby Molano is Earth Side:

I feel that it is my responsibility to be a role model. In this I should share preventative health practices with my daughter. I want to be a reliable source of factual information and knowing where to learn more about health topics. Initiating open dialogue that includes honest discussions about sensitive health topics like body esteem, self-respect, insecurities, and human development. I need to walk my talk by practicing regular healthy habits such as: regular exercise and fitness activities that are fun and including our daughter in fun activity like dancing, skipping rope, or gardening. Not smoking or using any tobacco products or other toxins. Making healthy eating a regular pattern with our daughter. Managing stress in a positive manner and demonstrating positive coping strategies.

Your attitude about your own body and sensuality, whether you talk about it or not, is automatically passed down to your daughter. Who you are affects your daughter’s sense of self for the rest of her life. A mother who accepts how she looks, and has a healthy attitude about weight, wrinkles, and aging, goes a long way in helping to counter the peer and media pressure her daughter faces. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, our negative feelings can actually alter our body chemistry. Teens living in a race for a perfection that can’t be won are experiencing an increase of negative emotions and related physiological problems. The connection between one’s thoughts, emotions, physiological responses and self-image is critical to optimal health. The old adage, “A healthy mind—a healthy body” is true. How a woman feels about herself is key not only to her emotional but also to her physical health. Extensive research on the hormonal and immune effects of chronic stress on humans reveals that feelings of hopelessness and helplessness seem to cause the most dramatic changes in stress hormones, sex hormones, and immune system functioning.

In total the best gift I can give our daughter is to be a healthy and strong woman. I believe she will catch the habits by watching me – and her father too.